Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
