Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
