I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
