You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
