Who did Billy Mays play for?
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
