I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
