Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
my being single is dangerous.
my shit smells like andre
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
