R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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