Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Randomize
