Got a toothbrush?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
