Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
foreskin is a definite game changer
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
