The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
