Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Randomize
