Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I lost the right to judge tonight
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
