i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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