Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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