just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
