the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
i think my cat just said my name.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
