So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I will be naked everywhere
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Randomize
