whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I can't turn off my feet"
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
We're too hungover to prance.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
