Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Randomize
