It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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