We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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