yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
