When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
