we're blogging at a bar
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
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