Screwed.edu
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
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