She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
