Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
