Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Randomize
