Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
