He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
