You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
