What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
