ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
