im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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