Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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