If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
