I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
