uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
