The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
