who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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