apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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