I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
