Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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