Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I am naked and annoyed.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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