How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
