Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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