last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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