So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Edward fifth and chaser hands
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Randomize
